My son makes me laugh. He comes out with the funniest comments. I hope you’re not tired of reading these. I just have to share.

Birthday Party Stuff
Son: Dad, I need you to sign this release form so I can go to Jack’s party.
Me: I thought it was a bowling party.
Son: It is. I think they’re afraid we’re going to throw the bowling balls at each other and crack open somebody’s head.
Me: Well that wouldn’t be good.
Son: But come on, what are the odds that even if I hit somebody with a bowling ball that I would actually crack open their head?
Me: You’re not planning on throwing bowling balls, are you?
Son: No, we’re probably just going bowling, but you never know, we are boys.

The ‘F’ Word
Son: Dad, Katie was singing a song today that had the ‘F’ word in it.
Me: Which ‘F’ word?
Son: You know, the ‘F’ word, the swear word, the curse word, the ‘F’ word.
Me: Well, you know that word is not a very good word, right?
Son: Yup.
Me: And that you shouldn’t use that word, right?
Son: Yup.
Me: Do you think she was just showing off?
Son: No, she doesn’t have a very good voice.

Sex
Son: Dad, what’s humping?
Me: What?
Son: Humping. One of the boys was talking about humping, but I don’t think he knew what he was talking about.
Me: What was he saying?
Son: That he caught his cats humping in the basement.
Me: You’re right, he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Son: It’s a sex thing, right, and you’re just not telling me until I’m older.
Me: Yes.
Son: OK, then I think he did know what he was talking about. But it’s still gross.

Grammy Awards
Son: Why do they have the Grammy Awards?
Me: They celebrate popular music
Son: Really? I thought it had something to do with Grandmothers.
Me: No – Grammy as in gramophone. It’s an old fashioned record player.
Son: Oh, that explains why they only pick old-fashioned music to win a Grammy.
Me: That’s not true. Lady Gaga is nominated. Taylor Swift is nominated. They’re not old.
Son: Yes they are. They’re so last year.

Well, that’s about it for today. Sex, Birthday Parties, the ‘F’ word and humping. That’s what’s on the mind of a typical 9 year old. God help us all.

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