Overheard On The NYC Subway

I admit it. I listen to other people’s conversations on public transportation. I think real dialogue is so funny. And that people sometimes have no idea that what they’re saying is so funny. The other thing I love about listening to random conversations, is that you don’t know the context. You only know the sound bite.

Here are a few that I’ve heard this week.

British or Canadian?
Guy #1: Who do you think you could trust, somebody British or Canadian?
Guy #2: Dunno, they both talk funny, I don’t know if I could trust anybody who talks like that.
Guy #1: I think I would trust the Canadian dude.
Guy #2: I never met any Canadians.
Guy #1: Those British guys think they’re all, like, Kings and Queens.
Guy #2: But Canadians only play hockey.
Guy #1: White dudes with sticks. You’re right, I can’t trust that.

Women talking about men
Woman #1: Did he call?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: I told you he wasn’t going to call.
Woman #2: But he said he was going to call.
Woman #1: Men lie. All men lie. (Looks at me – sees I’m listening) Oh, no offense.
Me: No, I agree.
Woman #1: See that, even men know they all lie.
Woman #2: But he said he was going to call.
Woman #1: Your problem, it you want to believe. You can’t believe. You can’t.
Woman #2: I’m calling him.
Woman #1: I’ll tell you what I’m calling him – I’m calling him an asshole.

Men talking about women
Man #1: You find a job yet?
Man #2: No, but I told my wife I did.
Man #1: So, your wife thinks you’re at work now?
Man #2: Probably not. She probably thinks I already got fired.
Man #1: When did you start this job?
Man #2: Yesterday.
Man #1: And you got fired already. Man, you’re a loser.
Man #2: That what my wife says.

Man: Guess how many e-mails I got today?
Woman: 200
Man: More
Woman: 500.
Man: More. How about 618? And guess how many were cover your ass e-mails?
Woman: 618?
Man: No, 617. I got a confirmation e-mail for my lunch order. That doesn’t count.
Woman: But isn’t a confirmation e-mail kind of covering their ass – you know – that they didn’t get your order screwed up.
Man: Thanks. That just ruined my day. I was hoping for one non-CYA e-mail. You had to burst my bubble. You had to trample on my hopes and dreams.
Woman: You’re welcome.

There you have it. E-mail sucks, men lie, men are losers and you can’t trust anyone from Canada. That’s what’s on the minds of commuters on the NYC subways system.


One thought on “Overheard On The NYC Subway

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s