So, since I announced my candidacy for Pope yesterday, I’ve gotten a lot of free advice about becoming Pope.  Thank you.  Yet I still have these 5 burning questions before I accept the job. If someone from the HR department at the Vatican could get back to me on these, I could make a more informed decision.

1)   Can I work from home a few days a week?  I get that my main office would be in Vatican City. But since I’m planning on being on the road at least 60% of the time, can’t I work from home the rest of the time? I’m not a sit behind a desk kind of Pope. So, I’d have to be clear on this.

2)   How much PTO time do I get?  I know that being Pope is a full time job, but I’d like to tack on a few days when I’m in some of these foreign countries. Meet 2 million people in Hawaii?  Add a weekend on the beach to unwind and perhaps learn to surf.  Mission is Scotland? How about a few rounds of golf? I want to make sure I have the proper work/life balance.

3)   Is my dentist ‘in-network’ on the Papal dental plan? I love my dentist. I can’t imagine going anywhere else. And I’d hate to start over with all the x-rays, molds and stuff.  Can I still use my dentist? PCP? These are important things to know.

4)   How would you describe the ‘culture’ of the organization? Is it inclusive? Open to change? Is there an acknowledged enemy?  (And I don’t just mean Satan.) Is there something that would need my immediate attention on day one? Is it friendly, or will I just be another number? Do you have casual Friday’s? Do I have to wear the red shoes?

5)   Name one thing you’d be really upset about if I change it. And one thing you can’t wait to be changed.

That’s it.  If anyone out there can help me answer these questions, I’d greatly appreciate it.  Oh, and by the way, yesterday I forgot another amazing qualification – I read BOTH Angels & Demons and The Da Vinci Code more than once. So I already have a lot of knowledge about Vatican City.

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And Happy St. Valentine’s Day.

02.14.13